


Broken

by ketterdam_filth



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22098565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ketterdam_filth/pseuds/ketterdam_filth
Summary: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is Terrasen's Fae princess of  nineteen years. After her parents narrowly escape murder at Maeve's hands, when she claims to have found Aelin's mate, will Aelin be allowed to meet the only one who could be the calm to her storm, or will her family refuse the gamble and force Aelin apart from her mate?
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Chaol Westfall, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Sam Cortland/Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Rowan is 21 and Aelin is 19. Don't ask why.

Ten years ago, when Aelin is nine.  
***  
Rhoe ran his hands through his hair for the thousandth time. "Evalin, I understand that Aelin deserve to meet her mate, but can we trust Maeve? She said she found Aelin's mate, but that doesn't mean she has him with her! For all we know, we could be going to Doranelle for another attempt on all of our lives! Don't you think it strange that she found a bridge between our empires close after the murder attempt? Don't you think she will use the union to her advantage? With a power like Aelin's, having her mate in Doranelle means that she might effectively take control of any offspring they might have, as they will obviously be powerful."  
"I know, Rhoe. I know Maeve's tricks and lies - why do you think I've prevented her from seeing Aelin all these times? She hasn't found Aelin's mate by chance or goodwill, she must have something planned. I know that our court only lived for precautions, but Aelin can't live with a piece of her missing. She will need her mate! If I didn't have you..."  
Rhoe clasped his wife's face in his hands and kissed her softly. "I know, Ev, I know," he murmured. "Aelin is yet to have her tenth birthday. Surely she can meet him once she understands what a mate means. Once she is old enough to know what she is missing."  
"It isn't fair on her, or the boy, at all. For all we know, they might find love before they find each other. We can't stop Aelin from pursuing other love if she doesn't know about her mate. We don't even know the boy who Maeve claims to be Aelin's mate, so he could find love as well."  
"We.. we could go to meet the boy's family, and arrange a marriage. Maeve will not know, and it may cause hurt in the future, but it is the safest course. Aelin knows she is expected to marry, and if we explain that we are not forcing her into it, if the fire in her blood will accept it, I think it could work out."  
"Very well, Rhoe." Evalin sighed. "So be it. We may lose Aelin for she might never forgive us, but so be it."


	2. 1| Bombshell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn what's happening in this messed up au

19 year old Aelin leaned against her packs, watching her horse graze in Oakwald forest with empty eyes, ignoring the Little Folk just in sight, watching over her. She was dreading her return to Terrasen. She had gone to Rifthold for a year, to 'build relations with Adarlan'. IShe didn't get a chance to do that until a year later. After three years living as Celaena Sardothien in Rifthold, her parents sent her a simple note telling her to come back to Terrasen.   
At the same time, she didn't think she could stay in Rifthold, either. With Nehemia's death and the Chaol's shocked, disgusted face forever stamped into her memory, she needed to escape.   
On her first day in Rifthold, in her human form, she was still getting used to her smothered senses, after years of relying on her sharp Fae skills. She had been captured and bought to the Assassin's Keep. She set up and caught, three months later after trying to fight her way out of the Keep, trying to escape Arobynn with Sam. Sam, with whom she had struck an immediate bond, had been her beloved for less than a fortnight. He was captured in the turmoil and killed.  
And so, a 16 year old Aelin Galathynius was sent to Endovier by a corrupt judge and a jury swayed to Arobynn's will.   
The previous king had died during Aelin's 9 months in Endovier, and although the new king was much kinder, his court stood firm in wanting Endovier to remain open. Dorian Havilliard II, after becoming king at 18, heard rumours of Terrasen's missing princess being in Endovier. After being pulled out of Endovier, Aelin spent the next two years building ties with Dorian and his court, although only they and Nehemia, another princess also sent to build ties, knew who she was. Dorian respected her wish not to contact her parents about her situation.  
Wanting to keep her human skills sharp, she trained with Chaol Westfall, the Captain of the Guard, and eventually, they fell in love. Aelin felt complete, although Chaol still thought she was Celaena.  
Nehemia and Aelin grew to become best friends. Nehemia wanted Aelin to return to Terrasen as soon as she had gotten out of Endovier, which was a year after she came has been captured. She wanted Aelin to go back, fulfil her duties and help shut down the slave trade and death camps. Aelin wanted time away from royalty, away from the pressure and expectations, and refused.   
On Aelin's 19th birthday, Nehemia died.   
Aelin, after losing the only person who knew everything about her, her confidant, went to the glass palace's rooftop when no-one was looking. She lost control in her grief and shifted into her Fae form. Finding her untouched well of power, she sent a huge column of fire shooting up into the sky, while floating slightly above the glass surface of the roof. Her flames turned into a phoenix, sweeping over Rifthold. Turning around, she saw Chaol, looking shocked, hurt and disgusted. All her fire snapped back into her and she collapsed into her human form.   
Feeling betrayed and not accepted by the one she loved. She left as soon as she received the note.


	3. 2| Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aelin goes back.

Aelin, in her Fae form, dirty clothes, dark circles under her eyes and all, rode into Orynth, head held high. She stared straight ahead with those empty eyes, ignoring the whispers piercing the hush that had fallen when she had entered through the city gates.   
She rode straight to the palace, not lingering to chat with the people regardless of whther she was late or not like she used to. She simply left her things with a servant and walked into the throne room. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Maeve lounging on her parents' throne, with six males standing cool and indifferently around her.  
"Where are my parents." she hissed.  
"Why, Aelin, how nice to see you at last," Maeve said wearing a snake's smile.  
"Get off my parents throne!"   
"Although, admittedly, I didn't expect our meeting to be like this,"  
Flames encircled Aelin's balled fists, almost too small to be seen. She slid into the killing calm, like she ha done whenever she wasn't alone after Nehemia died . "That is not your throne, Maeve,"   
"Blonde hair, the Ashryver eyes, quite a sturdy body, oh - you have Damaris with you, that's surprising - quite dirty in general, you didn't think to clean up before you came to see me?"   
"I did not come to see you. I came for my parents." the fire flared out a little around her hands.  
"Oh, you can use your power. I thought your parents were forcing it back into you -"  
"Where are my parents!" she screamed, voice hoarse from disuse. The flames shot up in a tower to the ceiling from her hands.   
"I was wrong, it seems. You still have your little magic tantrums. They are quite famous, you know. You got banned from the library, did you not, and then you disgraced Terrasen in front of the late king of Adarlan."  
Although she knew that her actions would prove Maeve right, Aelin sent a wall of flame a Maeve, it stopped and inch before her skin, before it slammed back into Aelin. Maeve paled, and one of the males - the one with dark hair and eyes - glowered straight ahead. The silver-haired one's eye twitched ever so slightly.   
She surveyed the six males. She swept her eyes over four of them, ignoring them mostly. She hesitated ever so slightly as she looked at the silver-haired male. There was something different, something she couldn't quite place about him. She narrowed her eyes. When she looked at the golden-haired male on the very right, her heart stopped. Aedion. He looked so much like Aedion, it was eerie. They didn't know who Aedion's father was.   
The shock must have shown on her face, for Maeve asked, still smiling "What's wrong, niece? Is there something wrong with my cadre?"  
She knew the six were blood-sworn to Maeve, so if she knew about Aedion, she could try to control him. "No." she said curtly.   
"This is Fenrys, Connall, Vaughan, Lorcan, Rowan and Gavriel.  
Gavriel. The golden-haired male was Gavriel.  
Without bothering for goodbyes, Aelin turned on her heel and strode out. As she reached the doors, Maeve called out, "Don't you want to know where your parents are?" Aelin ignored her and continued out.   
She walked blindly, tears fogging her vision until she stumbled upon her old nursemaid. "Where are my parents?" she choked out.  
"Aelin!" Erla cried, and enveloped the princess in her warm arms. Aelin collapsed into tears in the old demi-fae's arms. Erla led her gently to her rooms and closed the door. All of her things, even from her travelling packs were already in there.   
"What's wrong, Fireheart?"  
"Maeve- my parents- can't..." she sobbed, shoulders shaking. Erla was one of the few she showed her true emotions to. She almost snapped in the throne room, it was so hard to control her emotions even in the killing calm.   
"Hush, my child. Your parents are fine. They heard of the Eyllwe's princess' death in Rifthold and went to see the Ytger family."  
Aelin cried harder at the mention of Nehemia, "Bu- but they told me to come back here...  
"That witch." Elra hissed.   
Aelin couldn't believe that Maeve would sit on her parents' throne while her parents were away to console her best friend's family.   
"When will they be back?"  
"I do not know, my child. In the meantime, stay safe."  
Aelin nodded in understanding. Erla slipped out of the room.  
Aelin walked out to her window. She gazed at Orynth, the only emotions in her eyes being a glaze of unshed tears. "I came back, Nehemia..."


	4. Waiting

"Rowan. Go after her." Maeve commanded as soon as Aelin left the room. Rowan did not know the princess, but he still felt sick at how Maeve treated her. She baited a girl into thinking something had happened to her family when they were safe in Eyllwe. He was intrigued for why she had seen something in Gavriel that caused shock to be written clearly across her features. He could sense surprise and fear. He hadn't sensed fear any other time, apart from one fleeting moment when she had first glimpsed Maeve. What was so frightening about Gavriel?  
Rowan shifted into his hawk and flew out of a window, flying outside of the castle, watching Aelin though the windows. He saw the film of tears appear once she was a corridor away from the throne room. His heart twanged a little at the sight. He cursed himself - what are you doing? Lyria died only two years ago!  
He stopped and perched on a windowsill when he saw the girl collapsing into the arms of an old demi-fae female, sobbing and sobbing. Gone was the killing calm and stiff posture. Instead were soulless eyes and a broken girl.   
Although he felt he was invading Aelin's privacy, a thing which normally never came up when he was spying, he sat on the sill of one of the many windows in Aelin's room, waiting for her to come out.   
The old female and Aelin walked in. His fae senses let him hear their conversation. He was shocked to say the least when he heard how Maeve had lured Aelin to Orynth. He was also curious at Aelin's reaction to the news about the Eyllwe princess' family. The old female either didn't notice or didn't want to pry.   
He watched as Aelin was left alone in her rooms, as her shoulders shook, as she went to the window and all emotions left her save for unshed tears in her eyes.   
"I came back, Nehemia..."  
He watched as the princess of Terrasen sent a whisper through the wind to the dead princess of Eyllwe.   
He watched the princess, rumoured to be a passionate, laughing, shining girl curl up into a tiny ball and rock herself to sleep on her bed, still in her grimy travelling clothes.   
Staying until Maeve's will dragged him away, he watched a broken girl.   
***  
Aelin stayed in her rooms, starving herself, spiralling further and further into her depression. Every night she played melodies on her piano, sang for Sam and Nehemia and all the slaves in Endovier. She sang in Eyllwe of the peasants and slaves. Never in the common tongue or the ancient language or even in the language of the Little Folk.   
She did not emerge from those rooms at the top of the tower, only talked to Erla. She had noticed the white-tailed hawk sitting on her windowsill. She ignored it.   
For three weeks she read, played the piano and used her magic to practising fighting. She formed swords, daggers, knives, bows, arrows and shields of flame and fought against her magic to keep her skills sharp. But she never touched Damaris, the sword of truth.   
At the end of those three weeks, a sea of green and silver appeared under her window to greet Rhoe and Evalin and Orlon. She watched through her window as they walked through the gates, those soulless eyes remaining empty. Her shoulder slumped and she walked, almost defeatedly to her wardrobe. She emerged dressed in a simple dress of forest green and silver, with a delicate silver circlet on her brow. Not wishing to face the many people undoubtedly in the castle, she used the web of secret passages to go directly to the throne room. She had become adept at finding such structures after seeing so many in the glass castle.   
She stood in her usual spot on the throne platform. Where a bright, flushed sixteen year old was three years prior, now stood a weary, broken female of nineteen years. Maeve was not in the room, so she was probably with everyone else in the front of the castle. Her cadre were stood inside the room, however, three on each side of the grand oak doors. Faces blank, they stared at Aelin, no doubt wondering why she was not greeting her parents at the front. She took a beautiful Eyllwe knife out of the folds of her dress and held it in her palm, absentmindedly turning it over and over, tracing the delicate patterns without even looking at it.   
As resounding cheers rang through the castle, a flame ran along the blade then flickered and died. She stiffened, banished the tears from her eyes. As the doors creaked open, she slid into the killing calm once again. Gavriel flinched.   
Upon seeing their only daughter standing in the throne room, Evalin gasped and Rhoe's face crumpled slightly. Orlon burst into a fully-fledged grin, but it faltered when he saw how broken Aelin looked. I didn't pass Evalin or Rhoe either. Rhoe ran to Aelin, arms open and gathered her in his arms. Instantly the soulless demeanor disappeared and Aelin melted into his embrace, eyes filling with tears and joy and love and sadness. Evalin nudged Rhoe away and held Aelin's face, eyes searching her features for anything wrong. She must have seen the broken girl inside, for the two females clasped each other as if the other might disappear. Evalin's shoulders shook as Aelin's blue eyes danced for the first time since Nehemia's danced.   
Then she saw something that made her eyes dead again and her shoulders slumped. She stepped out of her mother's embrace and shook her head, tears falling fast down her head. She met his Ashryver eyes and fled.   
Aedion Ashryver was here.


	5. Shadows

Rowan saw the princess slip into the throne room through an entrance that he and the other five had not spotted when they scoured the room. She was wearing simple, but regal clothes. She stood on the dais, tall and stiff, awaiting her parents' arrival. It almost scared Rowan to see how easily that broken girl who had spent most of her life loved in a royal household could slide into the killing calm almost as quickly as Lorcan.   
So when her empty eyes filled with joy and relief at seeing her parents, Rowan found it a relief, for some strange reason. He watched her parents embrace her, their little family complete again. However, he saw sadness in those Ashryver eyes. The girl had seemingly nothing to be sad for so why were her eyes flooded with despair when she was with her parents again after three long years? He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts and resumed watching the princess. Suddenly the princess spied something or rather, someone, that made the blood leave her face and her hands to shake. Rowan looked down her line of vision and saw a demi-fae with blonde hair and Ashryver eyes. The other side to Aelin's fair coin. He looked familiar somehow, and not because of his resemblance to Aelin.   
The princess fled the room, Rhoe going after her. Evalin smiled weakly at the young demi-fae. She beckoned him into a corner and they talked quietly. Evalin looked around and spotted Rowan and the rest of the cadre. Her gaze focussed on Gavriel and this time it was her turn to go pale she ushered the blonde male out of the throne room using the same secret entrance Aelin had used. She caught the attention of her dark haired friend and talked to her briefly in hushed whispers that even Fae senses could hear. The lady paled as well and rushed out, presumably after the blonde demi-fae.   
Evalin started walking towards the cadre. Looking at Gavriel, Rowan could see that he was also wan, and shaking ever so slightly. What was happening?   
"I do not care if you are Maeve blood-sworn, you will not tell or give any signs that you have seen and recognised the blonde demi-fae that just left the room. Am I understood? You will do it for him and his mother. She died instead of letting Maeve hear anything of him. She died because of you." Evalin hissed with a ferocity that suggested she cared for the male like her own son.   
Gavriel nodded shakily. Only Rowan had heard the exchange so Evalin turned to him, "That male is one of my own. I don't care if you don't know why this is so important, do not acknowledge him."  
Rowan looked at Gavriel and understood. The blonde male looked almost identical to Gavriel. He could have been his son, and if he was - Evalin seemed to think so - Maeve could use the male. Hence the urgency. He must have been close to Aelin, which explained her reaction when seeing Gavriel.   
Rowan caught snippets of conversation between Evalin and King Orlon.   
"Maeve never sent any indication she would be here. Aelin came before us, she must have come home to Maeve." Orlon observed grimly. "Aelin's old nursemaid found this note in Aelin's travelling packs. It tells her to come home, so she came. I think she thought the note was from you and Rhoe. She was lured here by Maeve - there is no one else who is going to something like this."  
"Aelin..." Evalin looked terrified for both of the young she cared for.   
"Evalin, it will be fine, Marion and Rhoe are with Aelin and Aedion."  
"Aelin should be fine, but I'm sending Quinn to keep an eye on Aedion. I know both are good fighters but we can't take any chances, especially with Maeve in the castle."  
Orlon nodded curtly and made eye contact with a male at the other end of the hall. The male, presumably Quinn, walked over and exchanged words with Orlon. He walked out of the main entrance.   
"Aedion's father had sworn thee oath before Aedion was born. Maeve can't find out or she will use Aedion. Can she use the blood oath to control offspring as well?"  
"For all of our sakes, I pray not."  
Orlon and Evalin parted ways, Evalin leaving to talk to her good friend, Cal Lochan.   
Maeve appeared, sauntering towards Evalin, her serpentine smile wide and conniving.   
"Why, Evalin, I don't think we have talked for a long while, my dear. Have you been avoiding me?" Each word a carefully lain trap.  
"My dear aunt, what a surprise it is seeing you here. We didn't know you were coming."  
"But I don't need reason to visit my niece's family in Terrasen, do I? Especially as they never come to visit me in Doranelle."  
Evanlin looked sharply at Maeve, "There is a reason, isn't there, aunt?"  
"I just wanted to meet my family - Aelin especially," Ah.  
"Why now?"  
"Honestly, dear, so suspicious aren't you? You would do well to stop blocking me from Aelin. Especially as I brought her mate with me."  
Rowan was shocked. Who was the princess' mate?   
Evalin looked just as shocked. She regained her composure in another moment. "Didn't you meet Aelin when she came home?"  
"Why, of course. She was a little flustered when she didn't see you there. I see she still has her magic tantrums. Never had any control did she? She seems to have some now. You didn't mention that she was being trained in magic. Last I heard of it, having Aelin trained in magic would be an act of war."  
"You and I both know that training her increases her control. She won't spontaneously lose control and you know it. I refuse to let you manipulate my daughter."  
"You, my dear, won't let me do anything. I see that living among scum and demi-fae hasn't made you forget our ways."  
Evalin wisely said nothing although, she was shaking with anger at how Maeve was talking of her family and the demi-fae she had campaigned and fought against prejudice with.   
The evening finished without an appearance from Aelin or Rhoe. Maeve sent a command, telling Rowan to go to his usual post at Aelin's window.


	6. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapter lengths are not consistent. Whoops. This ones almost double the size.

Rhoe Galathynius waited outside his only daughter's rooms, his heart cracking with every shuddering sob his Fireheart let out. He waited until her crying had subsided before he gently opened the door and padded over to her.   
"What's wrong, Fireheart?"  
"I- I don't think I can face Aedion, I haven't seen him in three years and I didn't say goodbye because it felt to painful to be separated for the one year I was meant to be away..."  
"Fireheart, if he loves you like the older brother he is, he should understand. Three years is a long time, sweet," why did you go away for so long? The unvoiced question beneath.   
"I know, I know. I just needed a break from the pressure and - and I felt so lonely, I wanted to be out there, see the world," A half-truth at least. Her parents couldn't know about Arobynn and Endovier, not yet.   
Rhoe sighed. He sensed the half-truth as well. "You will know what your heart wants - no one else."  
Aelin heaved a last sob before she shuddered and dried her tears. "Did you see one of Maeve's cadre? He looked so much like Aedion..."  
Rhoe's mouth was set in a grim line, "Gavriel. He is Aedion's father. Marion is with Aedion now, and Quinn. Gavriel is blood-sworn to Maeve, so we can't take any chances. Maeve doesn't know about him yet."  
Aelin turned pale, but took a deep breath and stated, "Good. If anything happened..."  
"Nothing will, Fireheart," sighing a last time, Rhoe walked to the door. "Goodnight, love."  
Aelin sat despondently on her bed, making shapes in the air with her fire. How much time passed, she did not know, she didn't care, either.   
She told the story of her life with her flame puppets, the crowns and the whippings, to lift of love and the weight of death. She got to Nehemia's death, made the shape of a bed with her fire, and snapped. The figurine exploded and fire raced to the stone walls, not burning or damaging, just - there. It raced up the walls and in the middle of the room flames spiralled to the ceiling.   
After a moment all the fire dropped to the floor and rushed back to her open hands.   
Her eyes closed, Aelin created a beautiful, intricate phoenix, hovering where the spiral was before. It was a rich hue of blue, impossibly hot but not affecting Aelin at all. The wings tapered to red were held out majestically.  
Aelin opened her eyes and the phoenix shattered.   
The sun was almost breaking the horizon, but still Aelin sat on her bed, trying to continue her story.  
Coward. Coward. Coward.  
How could she free Endovier and Calaculla if she couldn't even make simple shapes of flame? A bed, a knife and a body, that was all she needed to do. Symbols of the princess who was held in the hearts of the Eyllwe people in the camps.   
A bed. A small bed of fire hovering in Aelin's palms.  
A knife. A small Eyllwe dagger embedded in -   
No.  
The flames left her. The ring of fire around her eyes dimmed.   
An almost familiar white-tailed hawk came to perch on her windowsill. Fae or pure animal? Aelin didn't know nor care, she needed herself and no one else. She sent a lightning fast spear of fire at the hawk. It passed through the glass windows - glass needed fire to be made, after all - and straight at the hawk.   
The hawk dodged and flew off the sill. Fae, then. A normal animal's reflexes were not as sharp.   
She didn't want to be watched, and if the hawk was Fae, then most likely it was sent by Maeve to spy. How could she not have noticed?  
She blocked any view in by a wall of black fire and let the grief consume her.  
o~0~o   
He was lucky. He had just missed the spear of fire. It was so well controlled and fast, and aimed with such skill that he had even singed one of his tail feathers. Seeing as Rowan's reflexes were the best of any Fae, it either meant that he was getting to comfortable, just watching from a windowsill, and his skills were dulling - or his skills were still sharp, but the untrained princess of the Wildfire had exceptional skill with magic.   
The latter didn't make sense, so Rowan put it down to himself and resolved to train in the afternoon, for the sun had started to rise already.   
He saw the shields put up against every window, door and crevice of Aelin's room, again, skilful magic, and seeing as any effort to penetrate them without giving himself away would be fruitless, he flew back to his quarters.   
***  
Aelin was summoned to the throne room the next day. After her sleepless night, dark circles stood stark under eyes, and there was nothing she could do to erase the hollow, hopeless look on her face. Nehemia. Sam.  
Nevertheless, she braided her hair and slipped into a dark tunic and pants. She might have enjoyed the luxury of dresses in Rifthold, but now even thinking of herself of a princess made her feel sick. She was no princess. She could only hold onto the warrior inside her.   
She walked down to the hall and stood in front of her parents and King Orlon, hands behind her back, feet slightly apart.   
Rhoe smiled a little. "Seems you have become something of a warrior in the past three years."  
Aelin cracked a smile but didn't change her stance or apologise for her clothes. Maeve and her cadre filed in, and Aelin stiffened. And then Aedion walked in. Evalin swore under her breath.   
The expression on his face made Aelin stumble and step back. Aedion wrapped her into a hug and buried his face in her hair. "I missed you."  
Aelin stood stiff in his embrace but then wrapped her arms around him, smiling, although their was still fear and sadness in her eyes. "You too, idiot cousin, you too."  
He stepped back grinning broadly. "I'm the idiot here? You saw your absolutely amazing cousin walk through doors after not seeing him for three years and you run away?" He snorted and ruffled her hair.   
"So - you're not angry?"  
"Why would I be angry? You weren't ready to see me, so you ran away. Probably also had something to do with the fact you were stuck in a room with six people so grumpy you can smell it in Doranelle and Darling Aunt Maeve."  
There was his legendary insolence. Soon Aelin was grinning broadly too, while Rhoe and Evalin exchanged an amused look.   
"Ahem." Maeve's voice rang through the room. "As much as I hate to interrupt this charming reunion, we have business with Aelin. Wait a minute. You - the half-breed."  
Aelin, Evalin and Rhoe stiffened. "Demi-Fae." Evalin hissed under her breath.   
"Shit. Maeve's seen him."  
"Shit." Evalin echoed.   
"What's so bad, Evalin dear? As I was saying, this half-breed looks somewhat familiar - I wonder why." A snakes smile was on Maeve's face. She knew very well why Aedion looked familiar.   
"You said you had business with me." Aelin snapped curtly, drawing attention away from Aedion. "Get it over with."  
"Now, that isn't a way to speak to your aunt, is it, Aelin?"  
Marion, who had appeared in a shadowed corner with a worried expression on her face, beckoned toward Aedion. He caught on that he should leave and quietly slipped out with her.   
"Well, dear aunt, I don't have a reason not to." Aelin was getting frustrated and the flame in her eyes danced with anger. "Since you took it upon yourself to impersonate my parents in a note, so I would come home to you after three years and not them, making me think I'd lost them too after you wouldn't tell me where they were. Actions of such a kind aunt, no?"  
The cadre flinched, almost imperceptibly. Her parents paled, maybe because of the information, maybe because of how Aelin had spoken to Maeve.   
"Good to see you haven't thrown your fire around yet. Such trivial things make you have tantrums."  
"Trivial? Trivial? You knew how that would affect me, after everything. You knew, and yet you use it to your advantage."  
The expressions of everyone in the room let on that they did not what was going on.   
"What are you talking about, dear?"  
"I know you sent that note at a time when you knew I'd come."  
Of course she did. She probably knew of Sam and Endovier and Nehemia and most likely knew how to use it to her advantage.   
"Speaking of your adventures in Rifthold, it was reported that the Lord of the North saw Aelin Galathynius in a wagon bound for - "  
"Enough! I know my own history."  
"Oh? You haven't told them? Well I'll drop the matter for now. I proposed a deal to your parents."  
"What is it."  
"You are somewhat untrained, but we have spoken to leaders and agreed that let you train in your magic. It would be somewhat safer than having you frolic around letting it run wild whenever you throw a temper tantrum."  
Aelin snarled. "I'm glad you finally thought that. When do I start."  
"Not quite yet." She smiled. "You will be training in Wendlyn. At Mistward, with one of my blood-sworn. Show me how good you are, and I will think about admittance to Doranelle."  
"What? Your racist city of pure-bloods? I don't care whether I can go there or not."  
"Oh, I think you'll find you will."  
She directed her sharp gaze to Rhoe and Evalin.   
"Shit." Rhoe swore again under his breath.   
"I don't care. I'll do it. When do I leave?"  
"Don't you want to stay here with your parents and darling uncle?"  
"As you said, as soon as I learn to keep my temper tantrums under control, the better."  
The truth was that being in a castle reminded her the she'd failed. Failed Nehemia, failed Sam. She couldn't protect her dear ones, couldn't be a proper princess, couldn't lead her people out of the death camps.   
"If you say so, dear niece. You'll leave in a week."  
"Yes, aunt." She turned on her heel and left the room.  
o~0~o  
Rhoe thought it couldn't get any worse when Aedion walked into the room and immediately caught the attention of Maeve. He was happy that his daughter and male he considered his son had made up, but now Aedion was in danger.   
Then Aelin, snapped. You took it upon yourself to impersonate my parents in a note, so I would come home to you after three years and not them, making me think I'd lost them too after you wouldn't tell me where they were.  
Making me think I'd lost them too. What had happened to his Fireheart?  
You knew how that would affect me, after everything. You knew, and yet you use it to your advantage.  
"Speaking of your adventures in Rifthold, it was reported that the Lord of the North saw Aelin Galathynius in a wagon bound for - "  
"Enough! I know my own history."  
"Oh? You haven't told them?"  
What happened in Rifthold, what had broken his Fireheart?  
Then Maeve spoke of Aelin's access of Doranelle. When Aelin said she didn't care for access to a city of racists, her felt almost proud. She'd inherited her mother's spirit.   
When Maeve directed a look full of sinister meaning to him and his mate, he swore. Of course Aelin would want access to Doranelle. Her mate was there.


	7. Departure

Aelin, aboard a somewhat rickety ship bound for Wendlyn, was sitting in her cabin. She'd blocked all her windows and jammed the door, and begun practising.   
It was much too enclosed for the combat training she usually did, but there was enough space to practise control.   
Tiny tears of flame popped up everywhere the room, dangerously close to flammable objects, but never touching. She controlled all of them, making the form shapes, move in patterns, spell out names. She used them to spell out a harmless Wyrdmark, one for locking. It worked, and locked her cabin door. No physical exertion would budge it.   
In Rifthold, after Wyrdmarks placed in seemingly random places in the gardens sparked her interest, she had begun learning about them. They had only worked with blood, although Nehemia seemed to be able to use them without it. Now, it seemed, magic would have the same effect. She performed Wyrdmarks to block vision and sound, and continued.   
Almost three hours later, she barely made a dent in her magic, but she gave up. Two of the cadre were on the upper deck - Gavriel, Aedion's father, and the tattooed, silver-haired fae - Rowan.   
She had been told that Rowan was training her, but why Gavriel had come, she didn't know. Maybe it was because he'd wanted to ask Aelin about Aedion, maybe so he would be far enough away that he could use loopholes and make sure no harm came to Aedion. Or maybe he was here because Maeve wanted him out of the way when she dealt with Aedion. Aelin fervently hoped it wasn't the latter. She was probably wrong.   
She walked up to the deck and stood at the prow. Her magic gave a flare of warning, so she turned to the two fae.   
"There is something in the water that shouldn't be." she informed them coolly.   
"Then get rid of it." Rowan replied disinterestedly. Rowan tensed ready to spring should anything happen. It was a very subtle movement, so Aelin might not have noticed. Gavriel had.   
"Are you sure this is good idea?" he muttered quietly. Rowan didn't reply. Bubbles came up to the surface.  
Aelin had cocooned the creature in a impenetrable bubble of flame, however, it was not hot, so the water in the bubble hadn't evaporated off. She lifted the bubble out of the water so the fae could see what it was. "Sea Wyvern." she said as way of explanation. "One of the Summoned still left behind."  
Gavriel gaped. How did the princess have enough power to cocoon and lift an animal bigger than a sea dragon, and the control to keep her flame from having heat?  
"Get rid of it." Rowan said.  
"With my unstable power? Or some other way?"  
Gavriel paled, wondering how on earth the girl thought she could take on a sea wyvern with only weapons, even if it was in flame.   
"Some other way." Did Rowan want the girl to die? Aelin smirked and summoned hundreds of tears of flame. Rowan looked on, unimpressed. He'd asked for some other way, not with flame.   
She quickly arranged them into shapes in front of her, not so big that he could actually see their defined lined from where he was standing. She shifted the last flame into place, and in a burst of light, the sea wyvern disappeared. She turned on her heel and stalked away. Her face blank again. Nehemia would have been proud of me for showing these two pure-bloods what I can do.   
o~0~o  
Rowan had never seen anything like the marks Aelin had used. Hell, he didn't know what they meant or where the creature went. It didn't look like the Old Language, or the Common, or Eyllwe, or any sort of language he'd seen before. He'd never seen anyone use magic like that before. Yet, when she did, he felt something ancient and powerful. What was it?   
"Why on the Gods' rutting earth did you tell her not to use her magic? Who knows what the cost of what she did was." Gavriel was still stuck between bewilderment and frustration. And he really needed to know about his son.   
As if reading his thoughts, Rowan said, "I had a feeling she has more control than she's letting on. This just proved that. I'm not sure how much she'll tell you about her cousin, though. It might be worth a try."  
***  
Gavriel walked down to Aelin's cabin, his footsteps near silent. Before he had even made it to the door, she called, "No, Gavriel." He sighed and walked back up the stairs. She wouldn't tell him anything if he pushed. He'd seen how much she loved her cousin though they'd only been in the same room for a couple of minutes. He went back to the deck, where Rowan was waiting.   
"Nothing."  
"You'll find something out, Gavriel."  
"But Maeve already has him!"  
"No. The Court of Terrasen will protect him, even if they don't know why. And he will protect himself."  
"That's right, he will," said a voice behind him. Aelin was standing, arms crossed and feet apart. "Leave him alone. Maeve already has her claws in Terrasen - I don't need another assassination attempt on my family. His mother died to protect him from Maeve. And from you."  
Her words hit him like shards of glass. They dug into him and tore at his heart and - his son. The worst part was that Aelin spoke the truth. Maeve would use him and she might hurt him and it was his fault Aedion's mother had died.   
She turned on her heel and stalked away, silent as a shadow even on the creaking wood.  
*   
Aelin sat on her bed, face hard as she remembered what she had said to Gavriel. She hadn't meant it.   
But she was sick of it all. Of the people she loved dying because she wasn't good enough. She would not let anything happen to Aedion. She might have hurt Gavriel but she was not going to lose someone else. She swore an oath to herself. I will not let any more people I love die.   
She scowled. She swore to Sam she would never leave him. Made an oath next to Nehemia's grave that she would see Eyllwe freed. Where had they gone? What was another oath?   
She picked up one of the knives at her bedside and began tossing it in the air. She caught, flipped it, watched it spin in the air blade gleaming as it fell down. And landed hilt down in her palm. It was a skill she'd picked up while training in the Red Desert with Sam and the Silent Assassins. Sam had died a week after they'd returned to Rifthold.   
She kept flinging knives at her door, until she finally realised that she would surely die of boredom just staying in her room. She sighed resignedly and got up. She stalked up to the deck and stood at the railings. She didn't detect Rowan or Gavriel on the deck. They were probably in their cabins. She let the wind caress her face, and blow loose strands out from her braid. She was clothed only in a thin tunic, pants and supple boots, but her gift kept her warm. She could no longer see Terrassen's mountains, just the wide expanse of blue, seemingly stretching on forever. She closed her eyes and just stood there for a while, thinking of nothing in particular. It had been a while since she'd allowed herself to relax - even after her rescue from Endovier she was constantly on high alert, traumatised by Sam's death and her experiences at the Keep and in the mines. She realised with a jolt that she had not sparred since she had left Adarlan. She almost couldn't remember the feel of a sword in her hands, although it had only been a few weeks. She went back to her cramped cabin and searched in her packs for a sword, but only found her hunting knives. Damaris lay beside her bed but she refused to touch it.   
She palmed the knives and went back up to the deck. No-one was there even the crew had gone down. Perfect. She twisted and turned and stabbed and dodged an invisible opponent. She became a whirlwind, a flurry of movement. She slashed upwards, a killing blow that she had learned with the Silent Assassins, when she detected a presence behind her. Two, in fact. Rowan and Gavriel, she realised. She spun around, knives up, a automatic manoeuvre. At Rowan's raised brows she let her arms drop to her sides. Gavriel's face was impassive, but she nodded at him, hoping to convey her apologies.   
Almost immediately Rowan attacked. A dagger of ice materialised and sped towards her. She flung up a shield of flame just in time, instantly evaporating the dagger. She no longer cared about hiding her training. Maeve could go to hell. She leaned against the railing and asked nonchalantly, "do you usually go around attacking innocent princesses?" The sentence tasted sour in her mouth as she remembered Nehemia.   
There was a glint in Rowan's eye as he said, "Oh, I doubt you're innocent, Princess."  
He couldn't have been more right.


	8. Unsure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chappie.

Rowan and Gavriel sat, leaning against the rails of the boat. To the unobservant eye, they were slouching and relaxed. Vulnerable to attack. Anyone who had ever heard of the warriors knew that they were constantly alert, ready to attack and unleash hell. The only thing that really gave it away was Rowan's harsh face as he contemplated the events of the day. He frowned, as he thought of the Terrasen princess' actions. He had suspected from the start that she was much more in control than she let on. He wasn't sure whether to report this to Maeve, and he was surprised that she didn't already know of Aelin Galathynius' skill with magic. It was hardly likely that with her unsettling ability of knowing everything, she had surpassed this fact. He turned to Gavriel, whose face was troubled. He could tell that Aelin's words had struck him hard, and he was beating himself up about it because he thought they were true.   
He had never known of Gavriel's love, and Gavriel himself seemed to be unaware he had a child. But Rowan knew what Gavriel must have been through, and why this was all so hard on him because he had been through it himself. Although young compared to Gavriel and Vaughan and Lorcan, only about ten years younger than Fenrys and Connall, he had been through almost the same amount of agony. Three years ago, at the tender age of eighteen, he had found his mate. And a year later, he had lost her and their unborn child. And it was his fault.   
So he sympathised with Gavriel, who had lost his love, and in a way, his son as well.   
"Gavriel," he said voice short, "We should tell Maeve of Aelin's skills."  
Gavriel shook his head and looked forward, steadily away from Rowan. "When you've been under Maeve's command as long as I have..." He paused. "No."  
"But Aelin has been trained, outside of political knowledge!" Rowan countered, "It could be considered an act of war."  
Gavriel rounded on him. It was rare that Gavriel showed any sign of anger. "And then what, Whitethorn? Another war? More people dying? You know just as well as I that Maeve gave the order to have the Terrasen court assassinated. You want to announce to the world that the heir to the throne has been illegally learning magic, to what end? So Maeve can use this as an excuse to bring Terrasen to its knees?" He looked disgusted. "I thought you were wiser than most for your few years, but you are just as foolish as the rest of them."  
Regret washed through Rowan. He hadn't thought of it that way. But inside, he was fuming at the Terrasen princess. His life had finally reached some sort of constant, he had finally got over Lyria's death - his emotions never troubled him, but now she had to come in. And she changed everything. Suddenly Gavriel was acting differently, Maeve was scheming more than ever, and this girl made him so angry, just by looking at him. He hated how the princess pitied herself, hated how she moped, how she showed off, hated that she seemed broken, as broken as he was. He hated that he saw himself in her.   
*   
Aelin was cold. She was shivering, teeth chattering, and her magic couldn't warm her. She had seen the look in Rowan's eyes when he had attacked her. Disgust. Hatred. She was used to those. But above all, the message in his pine eyes rang clear and sharp, through her heart. You are broken.   
She had fought to keep it together, to try to avenge Nehemia and Sam, smile for her parents, laugh for Aedion. She knew she was breaking, but knowing that people took one look at her and saw her broken, past repair...   
It all crashed down on her.   
She steeled herself. She wouldn't give up this easily. She was breaking, but not broken. She would not be broken.   
I am Celaena Sardothien and I will not be afraid.   
I am Aelin Ashryver Galathynius and I will not be afraid.   
She opened the door and came face to face with a scowling Rowan.   
"Come up to deck. We're nearly at Varese."  
She followed him up, both pairs of feet silent. They both joined Gavriel, who was looking at the coastline they were approaching. She knew it as Varese, the capital of Wendlyn, where her mother and Gavriel's had grown up. Gavriel informed them it would be another half hour before they reached Wendlyn. The three of them stood silent, observing. Another ship came by beside them, also intending to dock at Varese.   
Aelin turned to look at it and saw chains. She saw chains, the gaunt faces of Eyllwe slaves, the crying of young girls, and the shackles. The horrible, heavy shackles that she once wore, there to trap you and remind you that you were nothing, no-one. She rubbed absentmindedly at the scars on her wrists as she looked at the ship with rage-filled eyes. The fury was coming up inside of her, consuming her, her heart beating faster, faster, faster, feeling small like the day her magic had taken control of her, when that little worm had made her lose her mind all those years ago. But this time it wasn't magic. It was fear.   
But she did nothing.   
She turned around and walked back belowdecks.   
She did nothing.


End file.
